Saturday, August 12, 2006
12:09 AM
ã ã
I'm a woman obsessed with him.
Snap. Right, i was reading my 2004 diary when I realize that almost every page I wrote about him. God.
He's back. And now like almost everyone is talking about him to me. It's not something big but its not easy to just move on you know. I was a nut case last time. I just hate my past.
But I'm okeh now.
Lots of things happened these few days. Bad ones of course.
But I just don't want to talk about it.
You know how I feel about myself apart from what I wrote on my previous post?
I feel that I do not have self-confidence and well, to sum it all up, all the bad stuffs. And the thing is, the thing is I dont want to feel this way. I know like who wants. Nothing seems to be okeh in my life.
I need someone to be there for me and that someone must be someone special.
Yet, there's no one.
My life is like a million pieces jigsaw puzzle. I know that's impossible but seriously, yeah. It is as complicated as anything. And I need someone to help and show me where's the right place for me to put the piece to make it perfect, nice and right.
Now, my jigsaw puzzle is not even half done. I keep trying, trying adn trying but nothing comes out right. I'm lost.
You get what I mean about my life?
I always thought no one really understand my life just because they never go through my past during primary school. I don't know, I don't know and I don't know why it turned out to be this way.
FATE?
Fathin and I were talking about it when we went back together the other time. We will be totally different if we haven changed our mind and chose this school instead. I wanted to go Zhenghua Secondary at first but....
I want to cry.
Till then, bye