Its painful. It really is, I'm not trying to act but its the truth. Its really painful that no words can describe the pain.
I feel lonely even though I know there's people all arond me. My family, friends.
I wanted to end the pain but I did not. I can't bear to leave my loved ones. I want to feel blood flowing out of my wrist but I don't dare to. I don't want my parents to worry for me. I love my family so much but...
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?????
I thought my close friend really understands me but I realize that she dont. She won't even listen to my fcukin problem. Why can't she understand?? WHY??! I'm tired. I feel like giving up. Friends always said they will be there for one another. BUt is it true? I'm tired of keeping everything.I'm tired of being a big sister. I'm tired of hiding. I really am.
I'm so pissed off!! Fcuk! I don't want it to be this way. BUt if you all keep continue to behave this way, what else do you expect from me?!??!?!?!?!?
I'm fcuking tired ok!!
I'm being good enough to keep everything by myself not to start a fight. I'm tired of tolerating your fcuking attitude and nonsense. I wanted to call yo names but I did not! Why?!?! Cause I'm such a good friend and this is what I get?!?! Why can't you understand my feelings?!?! WHY?!?!!? I wanted to scold the hell out of you but again i did not!! I'm still trying to be nice. I'm so sick and tired of your FCUKING sttitude!!!
My classmates, and all those who I've known should know I SELDOM use the word fuck before. And even though I said it before, its not this serious. This shows how angry and sad I am.
Dont blame me if I changed, you all drove me into this.
And DONT ASK me questions in school. I wont reply.
And jess, I'm ok. Thanks.
To him, THIS is the END. Time wont heal this wound. I guess I'll just let you in this way.
Life has to move on. This maybe just a test God have given me. Or maybe this is my punishment.
I'll never know.
Guess I'll end here. TATA~~
And to those who read this post, the friend that I've mentioned is not in WGS.