Tuesday, December 20, 2005
3:55 AM
ã ã
i changed my blogskin again. its white in colour. and maybe this will be the last time that i will be changing my blogskin. cuz, sooner or later i will cancel my blog. i'll let you know the reason later. ok. the previous skin i chose was ugly. so i decided to change again la.
its been quite a long time eversince i first posted. and maybe this will be my last entry. MAYBE. well, unless i have a laptop. and ppl, i'm seriously dying for a laptop for my own. so yeah, if i have a laptop, i will continue blogging. thats one reason. the other reason is, left a few more days before school reopens. And i have not touch on any of the schoolbooks. im such a bum. and im sick and tired of being a bum. im like wake up in the morning and do my normal stuffs without learning anything new. what a waste. i thought that i would really start my revision on the month of December but nope. you know me. only know how to say. but never do. argh. wonder how am i going to survive for the next year. a year where everything will starts once again. exams, IPW, NAFFA. screams!! Haha.... so yeah, i really hope i will perform better in terms of studies and character wise.
all i want to do now is to SCREAM out loud!!!!!!!!!!!!
why am i so lazy?!?!?!
ahAkz...
anyway, i've made somthing...
your smiles. your words. your encouragements. i could never forget. for you were there calling my name. and put a smile on my face everytime when im feeling low and sad.
you never raise a loud voice to me. you never scold me whenever i made a mistake. instead you came forward to me and talk to me in a nice manner. you were like everything that matters in that particular time. without you, there is no me. i thought i could only find happiness within you. and everything in my life will be complete. my thoughts and feelings were still fragile at that time. im still a young girl who was still immature. i regret. i really regret....
everything went smoothly for somehow 2 years. when something really unexpected came. my life... my future... its just because of one silly mistake of mine that totally ruined my life. i wish i could turn back the time and stop whatever things that happened. but i know its impossible. im lost. in a dark world. feeling really terribily sad. like a sharp knife pierced into my heart. that feeling was inforgetable. i thought this IS the end. tears couldnt stop rolling down my cheeks. those tears are nothing but only meant for me. why? why? why am i like that? after a few months, i started to face it and continue living life as usual.
today, im not sure whats his thinking. esp, whether he thinks im happy or sad. base on my facial expression, it was so obvious im happy. so i guess.....
i dont get it. i seriously dont. if he was really happy, why did he look at me like some kind? i thought he will just said hi and go. but no. that didnt happended. he really confused me. totally............
he, was just my memory. he, the first guy who tought me the feeling of being cared. he, who never fails to call my name each time he saw me. he, who helped me alot of times and never let me get bullied. he,... he,...
he,... who was the first guy who really deeply hurt my feelings.
he...
he.
a guy who first happens to be my best guy friend who never felt scared to talk to me. atlast, dont even have the courage to talk to me and have nothing to say when he's infront of me.
he just want to know how am i. only that. and then g0...........forever.......
who is he?
he's,...
him,
********
it was him.
whose gone forever knowing that im fine.
its him....
its forever him....
him....
MY MEMORIES....
lalalalala... the him that one... i cant tell you la...
i really hope i can continue blogging. cuz... i want to.. continue blogging. what shiit. but nvm, im like not in the right mood now..
i have a msg to my dear azu,,,....
gurrl.. i thought you already got used to this blog thingy? how come now you became lazy ready?? Haiyoh... anyway, congratz cuz you recieved $300 while i cant... sob sob... its been a while eversince i last met you. and im happy cuz we are meeting again on the 22nd of dec. i hope i can come. i really do....... k la thats all for you...
mizz ya gurl!!
to all my sec fwenz.. bez of luck for the upcoming year!! hope you guys wiill do better. gudd luck...
k i guess this is the end of my post..
lalalalala...
ciaoooo!!!
TIME: 8.25PM
DATE/DAY: 20/12/2005 , TUESDAY....