Sunday, November 20, 2005
12:00 PM
ã ã
ii felt that ii have so much stuff to tell to hiim. about how ii felt, my life.
seriously, ii donte know who excactly he is, if y'noe what ii mean. ii donte know what his thiinking. or even what is his purposes of " ignoring" me. i always wanted to know why.
is it because of me ignoring him first or his being warned? ii donte have a single clue about it at all. ii wasnt ignoring him. ii didnt even smiled at him was basically because i thought he donte want to talk to me anymore. after for god knows how long we've been talking to each other, when suddenly there's this sudden breakdown of ours, i donte who started to ignore first but what i know is that we are like "pretending" that we donte even know each other. he used to call my name whenever he saw me. but that time, we were just walking "side-by-side" when he doesnt even looked at me and just walk straigtforward without smiling. what was that suppose to mean? ii've been trying to figure it out but what i get is, ii found myself trying damn hard to figure it out when it get into nowhere. im moving with my life, with the same old thing, FIGURING OUT WHY IS HE LIKE THIS?
im tired. and im thru with all this thing. i had enough of thinking about him and shed tears at night. why must ii be the one who suffered while he's enjoying his life? thats not fair. i cant even think properly while he remains in my mind. my memories. i cant forget him for i know that i cant run away somewhere far away from him. i'll get to bump into him someday, ii donte noe when. seriously, if he wants to ignore me, is it a must that u had get out from the staffroom and meet me? is it a must that u have to ask another person to talk to me, fearing that i wont talk to you? is it a must to look at the person who walk beside me, and when i looked at you, you looked somewhere else? huh?! is it a MUST?? you know what? its ok if you want to ignore me. BUT. why must you make me feel this way?! why?? uu LOVE to hurt other people's feeling, is it? why must uu do this? or rather why is it me? why must i be your favourite one? when someday uu donte even care how i felt? why must you tell the entire sch that im your favourite one when you donte even talk to me???? WHY?.......